Codependency

In a codependent relationship, one person (the codependent person) spends all their time and energy caring for another person’s needs.

Codependent people feel a compulsion to please others or to control other people. They think they are helping, but they are really hurting the other person and themselves. By taking control, the codependent person hinders the ability of others to think and act independently.

A codependent relationship can be between two partners, a parent and a child, siblings, or even friends.

Codependency and addiction don’t always occur together, but when they do, it can make achieving abstinence even more difficult. When you are in a codependent relationship, your partner may have trouble telling you no when you ask for something. They may enable the negative behaviors that led to your addiction. At their core, they want to feel needed.

Taking care of you when you are using a substance is one way they feel you need them. When you stop using a substance, they may worry that you will leave the relationship. The codependent person is also at increased risk for using drugs or alcohol. They may even experience troubles associated with addiction, such as loss of other relationships and job loss.

Healing a codependent relationship by setting appropriate boundaries and improving mental health is vital for both you and your loved one.

Every codependent person is different, but in general, they exhibit:

• Poor self-esteem
• Inappropriate personal boundaries
• A desire to control their world and the people they know
• Unhealthy denial or dismissal of their own feelings
• A desire for perfection
• Lack of trust
• Personalizing guilt for other people's problems

As part of addiction treatment, you and your loved one may go through family or couples counseling. During these sessions, counselors can teach you both about unhealthy relationships and codependency. The codependent person may also need individual counseling to help improve their self-esteem and independence.

Overcoming codependency is important for achieving long-term sobriety. If a codependent relationship is contributing to your substance abuse, contact Cayuga Addiction Recovery Services to find out how we can help.